The Push Tap Challenge

It takes two to tap dance
If you frequent public toilets for a legal reason, then you may stumble across the push tap. The push tap was invented by Uriah Nell as a challenge for the channel 4 Crystal Maze game show in 1986, but found itself pushed on to the public in 1987 after a water efficiency drive kicked in. To those left baffled or bamboozled, here is a picture of a push tap



The idea of this tap is simple…At the taps crown is a push button - You push this down and the water flows. You release it and the water stops immediately.
This watery efficiency is all well and good, but to anyone who has had the misfortune of trying to wash their hands with this contraption it has proved a total impossibility. In fact the push tap was eventually dropped from the Crystal Maze show as it proved impossible to complete in over four series.

So here is an explanation of how to wash your hands using a push tap.

Approach 1 - Plug

If you are lucky enough to be using a sink with a plug, then put the plug in, press the hot tap, then press the cold tap and wash your hands in the mini reservoir held within the sink. Chances are that the plug will only be about 24% efficient and this water will be slowly seep away, normally as soon as you’ve lathered up, but repeat until 99.9% of the germs have been killed.

Approach 2 - No Plug

If you’re unlucky to get the original Crystal Maze challenge set up (sink, no plug) then you’ll be keen to know how you can wash your hands. Well several of us Wiggies, went to our local public convenience and spent the afternoon struggling to over come this simple task.

This is how we finally overcame the problem, but unfortunately it requires two people. So the first challenge is to find a stranger willing to help you wash your hands.

1) Person 1 (hereafter referred to as the Washee) stands directly in front of the sink tap combo.
2) Person 2 (hereafter referred to as the Supportee) stands directly behind the washee who is standing directly in front of the sink tap combo.
3) Supportee cups the buttocks of the washee.
4) The washee, who should have his weight supported by the Supportee, raises his left leg to the top of the left tap, and his right leg to the top of the right tap.
5) The washee should then be able to push the taps with his feet whilst washing his hands. Note: If the washee activates the taps too fast then the chances are that the water will spill over and soak his trousers.
6) Once washed, the washee and supportee change places and repeat the process

We had hoped to give you a guide to hand driers, but it was at this point that we were asked to leave the toilet and threatened with criminal convictions if we ever came back.