Life Style Guide

Wine Guru

Good Day to you all from me, Blower Lower.

You know, a lot of people stop me in the street and say to me 'Hey Blower, we dig your style, we dig your life, how can we be like you?'.

I can't blame them. Because I'm fab. They see the lifestyle, the bald head, the myopia, the lightning fast wit, the Sid James looks. They want it and they want it bad.

So being the philanthropist I am, I decided that I should throw together a Life Style Guide so they too can be like me.

This week, Wine: In part 1 we will be looking at how to make wine out of anything. Home made wine is the new Cool, and I am a pioneer in its production.

In this first instalment I'm giving away my Recipe for Boiled Underpants Wine. Yes it's true, you can make wine out of anything.

You will need.

1 Gallon of Boiling Water
25 pairs of assorted worn Pants - preferably Y Fronts but Tanga briefs will suffice.
4 pounds of Sugar
Yeast (Marmite will suffice if you can't get hold of yeast) and yeast nutrient
Citric Acid

Large Bucket
Demijohn
Huge Spoon or Stirring device.

Vigorously Boil pants in the water, add sugar, acid. Cool.
Top up up to gallon with cooled boiled water
When cooled to hand temperature add yeast and nutrient

Pour into Demijohn, insert air trap (u bend) and ferment out until dry.

I guarantee this wine will taste pants.

Next week: The Look.