Earth sieving

An unusual hobby
Dark Chickens found this hobby in 1984 after the construction of a pond had left a huge pile of soil (or spoil as we sievers like to call it).

If you are new to Earth Sieving, let me explain. It's like panning for gold, but there is no gold. Only rocks.

One thing led to another and before he knew it, DC had sieved his way through 2 tonnes of soil and divided the spoil into lovely fresh top soil and a big pile of stones. It was at that point that he discovered his second favourite hobby, burying stones under his parents neighbours lawn.

He would creep out in the middle of the night adorned in a stealth like camouflaged outfit of black trousers, black rollneck, black gloves and a dark navy blue balaclava which looked black in poor light.

He would set about digging fresh holes and exchanging the sievable soil with a bucket of stones. He was careful, mind you, and always ensured the turf was correctly and professionally re-laid. After some time he'd buried all of those stones under his parents neighbours lawn and was left with just top soil. It was at that point that his hobby ended.

Dark tried for a while to sieve the top soil with a finer sieve, but it never gave the same buzz.

Despite his loss he soon discovered a new hobby which for legal reasons I cannot reveal but can communicate to you through a telepathic medium.

(I'm thinking about wigs. Is that it? - Editor)

Medway adventure

The adventures of The Grey Cardigan and Wigilicious.

On Saturday TGC and Wigilicious decided to visit the Guildhall museum in Rochester, unfortunately we didn't have our wiggies to hand but fun was had none-the-less. First impressions; the museum entrance is hidden away off the main high street of Rochester with an easily missed sign pointing the way, you're initially greeted with a sign saying it's free, the building looked small and everything tells you it's going to be a two-bit museum with a couple of objects on a table in the middle of a big room. How wrong we were.

The museum tracks the history of the Medway area from prehistoric time to modern times (sort of), to be honest the beginning bits aren't that interesting unless you find flint arrows and axes exciting. Things start to improve when we have a depiction of the siege of Rochester castle with the aid of a pretty detailed model, stories of how the castle has one round tower and three square should delight the grand children night after night. I never knew Pig fat was so versatile.

From this point the museum depicts the history and the Medway through the times of pirating and high sea adventures and how the Dutch raided up the river. Exciting stuff you'd agree. Then all of a sudden as you round a corner surrounded by riflemen, pikes and metal helmets you hear the distant strands of dance music. Oh yes, this museum has a cat walk.

Funnily enough I didn't take up the offer of strutting my stuff down the cat walk and we moved quickly on to what can seriously be called the best bit. The Hulks. Not a collection of pictures of the incredible hulk but a pretty good reconstruction of prison ships that used to be moored in the Medway holding up to 72000 prisoners in pretty horrific conditions over three floors of the building. The first room, the deck, cunningly made to appear bigger by the use of mirrors. The second floor showing how these boats were stripped before being used as prison vessels and the third floor that has the solitary confinement room. I have to admit this stuff was morbid and I loved it. For info the use of prison ships was stopped in the late 1800s and yet we here stories of prison ships being used nowadays due to over-crowding in prisons. Nice.

After that is the Victorian section in the second building across the way, but that was rubbish.

TGC Survival Tip 1

The Grey Cardigan - Survival Tip Number 1
If you are lost in the woods during the day without any matches or a lighter, make sure you have a coke can and a chocolate bar. Fear not, you can still start a fire.

Use the chocolate bit of the bar (the purer the choccy the better) and smear it on the bottom of the can.

Use the wrapper or whatever comes to hand to shine the bottom of the can.

The chocolate works like a fine abrasive to polish the bottom of the can.

This should take 1/2 to 1 hour. Don't eat the chocolate afterwards, it will have become toxic by picking up bits of aluminium.

Now use the can to reflect the suns rays onto your kindling.

Hey presto, man make fire! However if it's cloudy, you're stuffed. Unlucky.

Six Wigs

Lambpie 1973 - xxxx
Six Wigs (d. 2007)
Local artist Lambpie used all 6 of the public internet terminals in the coffee area of the Xpertise training centre in London to create this most intriguing and thought provoking exhibit.




Arts review anybody?

Beef Stew

According to Dark Chickens there are two ways of making Beef Stew.

Beef Stew - M&S Ingredients

INGREDIENTS:

• 1 1/2 pounds of prime and lovingly diced three dimensional squares of succulent beef
• 3/4 cup of pure, untainted flour sifted by fair maidens of the Isle of Capri
• 1 teaspoon of Atlantic sea rock salt harvested by the soft hands of mermaids
• 2 archetypal sweet carrots freshly picked by a man who sighs "argh" after every plucking.
• 2 ribs of celery delicately blanched in hand dug furrows, sliced professionally with a stainless steel blade
• 1 stereotypical onion delicately plucked from the arid ground and dried for a fortnight on a native tin roof, diced evenly
• 1 fresh succulent clove of Transylvanian garlic, milled with a quality garlic press
• 2 fine bone china cups of home made beef broth
• 1 wine vessel of full bodied dry red wine, such as Pinot Noir or Cabernet Sauvignon
• 1/2 silver teaspoon of freshly picked chopped rosemary from your walled potage

Beef Stew - Asda Ingredients

INGREDIENTS:

• 1 1/2 pounds of brazing steak
• 3/4 cup of flour
• 1 teaspoon of table salt
• 2 medium carrots
• 2 celery sticks, chopped
• 1 onion, cut up
• 1 clove of garlic, smashed
• 2 cups of beef oxo
• 1 mug of dry red wine
• Pinch of dried rosemary