An easy mis-steak to make
Sirloin steak is not the cheapest meal on the menu, nor is it the most expensive. Tonight I would live a little but not a lot.
My order, as you have guessed, was sirloin steak. Medium with fries and a peppercorn sauce. "It will be delivered in 45 minutes" they promised so I passed the time by downloading the special edition 'Jon-jay' wig from the website and browsed the wigster gallery, planning my next wig trip.
Time passed, 55 minutes had gone by but I was in no hurry to eat. I could cut them a little slack. Five minutes later I phoned the restaurant. They had the order but had not processed it and they offered to upgrade the meal to fillet steak in recompense.
I accepted and was informed that the meal would arrive in 45 minutes.
And it did. After 40 minutes exactly, a cod arrived at the door. It was a fillet of fish.
Wednesday, 22 June 2011
Weird Dream Alert
DC and cheese are not a good combination
********WEIRD DREAM ALERT********
I had a strange dream this morning in which we were all planning on travelling to the annual Wiggy convention.
JDubya, Lambpie and myself arrived at the train station (of the London Charing-X type with multiple tracks) and realising that we had a long journey ahead we decided to get some food from the vending machines. There were two vending machines, one was a drinks vending machine (coke advert on front) and the other was a multiple choice vending machine that sold drinks and food. We were all shocked that the second vending machine only offered bags of crisps (green bag) and cans of coke, as everything else had been sold out.
Just then a mark 4 super human arrives and loiters by us, we suspect he knows about the international Wiggy convention and that he's trying to tag along. After ignoring him, he disappears completely.
JDubya steps forward and selects a bag of the green crisps. He then tries for a can of coke, but his money jams in the slot and he has to ask for assistance from one of the railway staff. Who couldn't get the vending machine to work.
At this point 1Z turns up (late), walks up to drinks machine and opens up the door. It turns out that this is a free, "help yourself" fridge that only 1Z appears to know about. 1Z helps herself to some stuff and then I go over to the vending machine / fridge, open the door and inside are shelves upon shelves of different types of cheese. The rest of the dream is occupied by me examining the cheese.
(Lambpie, I'm afraid you played no meaningful role in this dream apart from just being there.)
********WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?********
answers below please.
********WEIRD DREAM ALERT********
I had a strange dream this morning in which we were all planning on travelling to the annual Wiggy convention.
JDubya, Lambpie and myself arrived at the train station (of the London Charing-X type with multiple tracks) and realising that we had a long journey ahead we decided to get some food from the vending machines. There were two vending machines, one was a drinks vending machine (coke advert on front) and the other was a multiple choice vending machine that sold drinks and food. We were all shocked that the second vending machine only offered bags of crisps (green bag) and cans of coke, as everything else had been sold out.
Just then a mark 4 super human arrives and loiters by us, we suspect he knows about the international Wiggy convention and that he's trying to tag along. After ignoring him, he disappears completely.
JDubya steps forward and selects a bag of the green crisps. He then tries for a can of coke, but his money jams in the slot and he has to ask for assistance from one of the railway staff. Who couldn't get the vending machine to work.
At this point 1Z turns up (late), walks up to drinks machine and opens up the door. It turns out that this is a free, "help yourself" fridge that only 1Z appears to know about. 1Z helps herself to some stuff and then I go over to the vending machine / fridge, open the door and inside are shelves upon shelves of different types of cheese. The rest of the dream is occupied by me examining the cheese.
(Lambpie, I'm afraid you played no meaningful role in this dream apart from just being there.)
********WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?********
answers below please.
Lambpieitis
Dark Chickens has been infected
Yes, it's true. Last year I was a normal guy who went about his business in a normal manner, but since spending time with Mr Lambpie I have developed the urge to click my fingers, tap my pocket and slap my clench fist whilst walking.
Confused and concerned by my latest behaviour I sought to find the source of the problem and yesterday whilst walking back from lunch there it was. Mr Lambpie was clicking, tapping and slapping as he merrily walked along.
I urge you not to spend too much time with this man otherwise you may also catch this infectious habit. I fear that it may already be too late for JDubya who's started to exhibit the early signs. (Chaotic clicking and slapping, he has no sense of rhythm)
As I'm now in the advanced stages I am hoping that a three week quarantine period will rid me of this embarrassment and I will be free to walk gracefully once again.
You have been warned.
Yes, it's true. Last year I was a normal guy who went about his business in a normal manner, but since spending time with Mr Lambpie I have developed the urge to click my fingers, tap my pocket and slap my clench fist whilst walking.
Confused and concerned by my latest behaviour I sought to find the source of the problem and yesterday whilst walking back from lunch there it was. Mr Lambpie was clicking, tapping and slapping as he merrily walked along.
I urge you not to spend too much time with this man otherwise you may also catch this infectious habit. I fear that it may already be too late for JDubya who's started to exhibit the early signs. (Chaotic clicking and slapping, he has no sense of rhythm)
As I'm now in the advanced stages I am hoping that a three week quarantine period will rid me of this embarrassment and I will be free to walk gracefully once again.
You have been warned.
DC
The Grey Cardigan has confirmed that he is not infected. This outbreak is not a direct result of the very recent Sir Lady HF day.
Monday, 20 June 2011
Sir Lady H F Day AGM - 21/6/2011
We are delighted to announce...
Details of this year's LHFD AGM.
Where: The Prince of Wales, Drury Lane, Covent Garden. LONDON, England.
When: 21/6/2011, from 18:00
Dress: Stripey blazer and optional boater
Dancing to: The Bex Pistols
http://www.pub-explorer.com/gtlondon/pub/princeofwalescoventgarden.htm
Details of this year's LHFD AGM.
Where: The Prince of Wales, Drury Lane, Covent Garden. LONDON, England.
When: 21/6/2011, from 18:00
Dress: Stripey blazer and optional boater
Dancing to: The Bex Pistols
http://www.pub-explorer.com/gtlondon/pub/princeofwalescoventgarden.htm
Friday, 17 June 2011
Introducing the FFFC
The squalid truth about the FFFC
The FFFC is the five foot four club and is open to any wigster who has a height of five feet and four inches.
Contrary to popular belief, there is no metric equivalent. The FFFC are all measured in imperial units.
The FFFC welcomes new members and even offers those who aspire to be five foot four an associate membership. However, when we interviewed their chairman, we discovered a darker story of animosity towards the rival five foot five club who claim to have the same name.
As a response to their competitors, the FFFC have banned anyone who is a member of the FFFC from being a member of the organisation. Inevitably, the FFFC have retaliated by preventing members of the FFFC from joining them too.
An independent observer said "it's hard to tell the difference between the clubs as there is only an inch or two in it".
The four foot five club which was recently acquired by the four foot four club declined to comment.
The FFFC is the five foot four club and is open to any wigster who has a height of five feet and four inches.
Contrary to popular belief, there is no metric equivalent. The FFFC are all measured in imperial units.
The FFFC welcomes new members and even offers those who aspire to be five foot four an associate membership. However, when we interviewed their chairman, we discovered a darker story of animosity towards the rival five foot five club who claim to have the same name.
As a response to their competitors, the FFFC have banned anyone who is a member of the FFFC from being a member of the organisation. Inevitably, the FFFC have retaliated by preventing members of the FFFC from joining them too.
An independent observer said "it's hard to tell the difference between the clubs as there is only an inch or two in it".
The four foot five club which was recently acquired by the four foot four club declined to comment.
Monday, 13 June 2011
No Neck Club
Nothing to do with pirates
Above: Somebody or other with no neck
THE NO NECK CLUB
From Wiggipedia, the free no nonsense informer
Founded: 1792
Origin: Bexley, South London (via Paris, France)
1st rule of the 'No Neck Club' - You do not talk about the No Neck Club. Err, no hang on that's something else. Try again, 1st rule of the 'No Neck Club' - You don't choose No Neck Club. IT chooses YOU! 2nd rule of 'No Neck Club'...by default.... No Necking...
"Un club pour des personnes sans cous" was formed during the French Revolution in 1792, around the 1st Tuesday in May some time after Croissants and Cafe Creme, by a group of French Aristocrats who found they were unable to put their necks on the line due... mainly to the fact that they didn't have any to put on it. Frustrated revolutionaries, unable to drag them to the guillotine spared the group and exiled them to the south London borough of Bexley.
Members of the group were famed for their notoriously glossy, dandruff free hair. This of course was because they never went anywhere without their Head and Shoulders.
For over two centuries, the group thrived, and these days you will be likely to see members of the NNC in all walks of life (as per picture above).
As recently as 2007 there were still descendants of the founders running the NNC in Bexleyheath at the former Woolwich Building Society 'Head' Quarters.
Most Recent known Members:
Cholera Sou
A Latrines
Heathens Penning
Merman Mango
Above: Somebody or other with no neck
THE NO NECK CLUB
From Wiggipedia, the free no nonsense informer
Founded: 1792
Origin: Bexley, South London (via Paris, France)
1st rule of the 'No Neck Club' - You do not talk about the No Neck Club. Err, no hang on that's something else. Try again, 1st rule of the 'No Neck Club' - You don't choose No Neck Club. IT chooses YOU! 2nd rule of 'No Neck Club'...by default.... No Necking...
"Un club pour des personnes sans cous" was formed during the French Revolution in 1792, around the 1st Tuesday in May some time after Croissants and Cafe Creme, by a group of French Aristocrats who found they were unable to put their necks on the line due... mainly to the fact that they didn't have any to put on it. Frustrated revolutionaries, unable to drag them to the guillotine spared the group and exiled them to the south London borough of Bexley.
Members of the group were famed for their notoriously glossy, dandruff free hair. This of course was because they never went anywhere without their Head and Shoulders.
For over two centuries, the group thrived, and these days you will be likely to see members of the NNC in all walks of life (as per picture above).
As recently as 2007 there were still descendants of the founders running the NNC in Bexleyheath at the former Woolwich Building Society 'Head' Quarters.
Most Recent known Members:
Cholera Sou
A Latrines
Heathens Penning
Merman Mango
Thursday, 2 June 2011
The Blower Lower Report
Please do not take out of context
Taken out of context, these words mean very little. But, to me, last night, they were vital as I performed an annual event that will give joy to many
"A thorough, slow, unforced straining is essential"
What was I up to? And what does the advice mean?
Taken out of context, these words mean very little. But, to me, last night, they were vital as I performed an annual event that will give joy to many
"A thorough, slow, unforced straining is essential"
What was I up to? And what does the advice mean?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)