Charity Shop

Dark Chickens attempts to be carbon neutral

With my personal drive and determination to become an eco god, I recently purchased a retro (or is it vintage) wind up clock from a local second hand shop. It's selling feature was an alarm, which I thought would prove very useful given my personal desire to work the early shift. At the time I was shocked at how such a stylish and desirable piece could have possibly ended up on a charity shop shelf and couldn't believe my luck in finding such an unusual purchase for the cheap price of a fiver.

When I got home that evening I wound the clock up and set it free on it personal clockwork adventure, setting the alarm for six o'clock in the morning. I left my bedroom and returned at night fall dressed in my PJ's and nightcap. With teddy safely tucked in I settled down for what I thought would be a good nights sleep.

Half an hour went by and I was still wide eyed listening to the constant and somewhat hyperactive tick-tock of this wind up clock. After another half an hour I decide action was needed and covered the clock with a spare pillow. The disturbance continued and the clock was soon covered by an additional pillow, but still the ticking kept me awake.

It dawned on me then that perhaps the alarm really wasn't such a required feature as to sleep with this noisy ticking and tocking device was near impossible. Not only was it loud, but the tempo of the tempo was impossible to unwind to.

It was now 2 o'clock in the morning and drastic action was required, but from the comfort of my bed the only drastic action available was to shove the clock in one of the bedside cabinets. It soon became apparent that this was only resonating the sound and after a further half an hour the only action I could possibly take was to get out of bed and put the clock in the spare bedroom, making sure to shut all of the doors behind me.

Before settling down again, I set the alarm on my mobile to 6:30 and was soon fast asleep in the now tranquil environment. I thought nothing could disturb me as I lay there enjoying the pleasures of rest, the odd dream and some random leg movements.
Then, BRINGGGGGGG!, it was the alarm clock going off in the spare room. In my daze I immediately thought it was the fire alarm. My heart was pounding. I grabbed my personal belongings and the dog before realising it was that bl00dy alarm clock. To say it was loud was an understatement, if it was a human it would have come with an ASBO for anti-social behaviour. If it was car then it'd be a 1960 diesel lorry with honk horn blaring out.

The following day I cut my losses and gave that alarm clock back to the charity shop... it was then that I realised why this alarm clock was on that charity shelf.

DC.

The Grey Cardigan comment:
"I can relate to this, I once bought a South Park wind up clock and that ticking is the most annoying thing ever. Ended up stuck in a drawer under a load of clothes until it wound down."